My last (and first) post was about my muse, my inner genius, and finding my life purpose. Doesn't it sound Magical? Inspiring and Wonder-Full? In that post I barely mentioned that it may feel like walking though fire -- that may have been putting it mildly.
For me (and it seems many), finding my reason for being, a reason to be here; an authentic and inspiring way of living and contributing -- seems very much like a mental illness or deep emotional distress, or a severe physical illness. For the time being, it has to be this way. Why? Because what we are talking about here is no less than the evolution of mankind though your own evolution; and that is fraught with conflicting information: A mind breaking free from imposed societal, family, & peer beliefs, priorities, and structures; is at a loss to make sense of things or to 'function' normally and go about a normal day-to-day life. Evolving also requires getting to a deep understanding about the psyche of man -- and that can only be understood in the depths of despair when all outer facades, attachments, and fears become secondary to your pain -- and you either medicate it (read staying stuck), die, or take back full and unapologetic control of your life and choices.
Needless to say that I do not believe in "mental illness" -- none of them. Yes - I have been told that my thoughts are dangerous (to myself) and now I am daring to share them!!! (dangerous to others)!!! Let me tell you this -- these dangerous thoughts saved my life and my 'sanity' if you will and leaves the mainstream medical/therapy community in the dust. I am grateful for the role they played in my first steps to managing my distress -- however managing my distress was nowhere near close to my goal of being well, successful, and happy. The medical community seems to consider it a success if you don't return to them. With a goal so low why would I return to them when on-going suffering was happening? I instead kept searching in earnest and finding what I needed elsewhere.
How much do you want me to go into this? First; the field of psychology always dismissed emotions in the study of the brain and human behavior until the last decade or maybe two. When the Truth appears to me to be this: We are emotional beings at our core - everything we do or don't do is based in emotion. Consider that if you are a highly logical person - your drive to be logical is based on emotion. Something at sometime caused you to feel good or validated or safe by choosing logic over emotions, and ironically you became emotionally attached to being logical. This is not a bad thing, but it tells us about our humanity - so does the exponential growth in mental illness diagnoses. These are not a mass of individual breakdowns, they are a multi-generational falling apart caused by the chasm between what supports a happy humanity and the priorities we so relentlessly drive to achieve in the name of survival and economic success - they are incompatible. We can have it all - but we have to change the way we live and work and educate and govern. This is no small feat and nothing less than an quantum leap in understanding, forced on us by nature herself, will get the job done.
Anxiety, depression, disease are nature's wake up call to heal, to grow, to evolve, to reach your potential.
Keeping it short. Ending here - I am ALWAYS available to help support anyone moving through anxiety, depression, failure, life decisions, and any major emotional crisis -- it does not scare me because I have faith in you making it through. xo
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