Existence, Consciousness, Bliss.

I have worked reallllly hard, with many ups and many periods of deep deep darkness to finally know how to stand in the light without being engulfed by darkness again.

There are two things to know about this process that are the foundation for all the work that goes into it:

1. That it is the same process as building a muscle.
2. That the light, the success -- comes from within -- and can come from nowhere else.

This is the Magic of Life. 

& The Magic is found in the mud: the anxiety, the depression, the loss, the pain, the abuse. 

The "find" is that the strength within is much much bigger than anything external. It is a strength that must be built by shedding the mud. The mud is shed through forgiveness, through acceptance, through building an unwavering belief in ourselves, in our own goodness, in our own worthiness, in our own unique qualities, ways of being, of functioning. Our every preference, those quirks that we have been teased about or worse, our every interest, failures, and imaginings; are a kind of treasure map with our lives-to-date being the sometimes seemingly pointless, unending torturous journey toward unearthing that treasure. 

Once you arrive you are awash with the feeling that it was all worth it. And often, you are compelled to help others on their journey -- although more often than not, others wish to go it alone and not be advised or aided. Such is the human condition. xo

I know this sounds crazy, and yet it has been true for me and countless others. I am not the first to find the Magic Formula.

But how about we don't make our children lose it in the first place. New models of parenting are built upon healing of our own childhood wounds rather than intellectual misunderstandings about life & parenthood. Seek them out and as you change the way you parent, you can heal your inner child, and change the world. It is incredibly amazing to discover how all of it, everything, is inter-connected. I know I know I sound stoned or demented. That's ok. If you are not at a point of feeling a need for healing then go forth happy as you are. If you do realize that your life challenges are a call to healing -- then you may find these ideas intriguing. 

In any and all cases -- it matters not what you do or don't do or where you end up -- your journey is your journey and cannot be compared or judged. And, in any and all cases -- you are worthy and lovable without condition. xo

No Thanks! My thoughts on "isms".

Warning: I will say things that are not Politically Correct -- why I don't believe in political correctness is for another blog.

I have always steered clear of labels even before I understood that it was the label (another word for a box in my opinion -- limiting, defining) I was rejecting. It started in college; someone said "you're a feminist!" and my immediate and heartfelt reply was "No! I'm Not!" and I still feel the same to this day. My answer continued -- "I am a person, a woman, and I expect equality: we are different but equal".

The only label I was always okay with was woman or female -- because to me this was simply a biological or physical truth while not saying anything about me, not defining me or what that means for me. I was never particularly feminine or masculine and did not worry about other people's ideas of what that means. While I completely support and understand those who are rejecting these labels -- for good reason -- I see it as being about rejecting the limitations, assumptions, defining that comes with it. I believe that male and female energies exist within each of us, I believe that all interests, qualities, & possibilities can emerge from each and every one of us, and that it is fluid -- ie can change radically over time -- and that none of this is defined by being male or female.

Hence I don't understand the need for labels. To me, labels only serve to separate us. Ex. I do not see feminism as particularly kind to women -- it appears to define what women should and should not be. I prefer to honour all women, as I honour all human beings; in being exactly who they are, becoming whoever they want to be.

As for the other isms: capitalism vs socialism vs communism -- further separation, defining, and aiming for a one-size-fits-all solution: I believe the answers to all of our problems lies is the cut-and-pasting, melding, emerging, and refining of the highest and best parts, or the parts that a person is most attached from each and every ism. I love the freedom and creativity and potential of capitalism and know that combined with the best parts of the other isms can allow us to create a world where all needs are met yet no one tells you how to live or defines the ism for anyone else. If any one of those isms on its own was the solution -- it would already have worked. It appears to me that they are each limiting and do not meet the needs and ideals of everyone. And -- the problem is not with the ism itself, the problem lies within humanity and our level of awareness. Corruption occurs in socialism and communism as much as capitalism. Perhaps it seems bigger in capitalism because of its equally engaging potential. The problem lies in the fact that humans are at the helm and humans are all capable of greed and self-serving fear-based behaviour that hurts others; no matter what ism they are a part of. We need to recognize and understand humanity more intimately in order to resolve anything, in order to find the gems in each ism and let go of the rest, in order to all of us get more active in the process of defining how we live rather than leave it up to the few.

Every problem we have today was at some point a solution: cars were a solution, electing a government to make laws and run things was a solution, capitalism, socialism, communism were solutions: We are simply at a time when we are out-growing those solutions and the new wave of solutions need to reflect the best of all of it, without attack, without blaming or finger-pointing and getting stuck; envisioning new collaborations will require accepting everyone's viewpoints and making them work for your community. Oh - did I mention that I believe the solutions need to be arrived at by allowing each smaller-scale community to set their own ideals, ideas, and solutions and living harmoniously alongside other communities whose solutions may be very different. We cannot ever get everyone to rally around one solution; it cannot work and limits freedom and creativity. Let each solution and community emerge as it sees fit and forget about labeling it.

Namasté, Marilyn on a Mission.

The Gift of Anxiety -- really?

My last (and first) post was about my muse, my inner genius, and finding my life purpose. Doesn't it sound Magical? Inspiring and Wonder-Full?  In that post I barely mentioned that it may feel like walking though fire -- that may have been putting it mildly.

For me (and it seems many), finding my reason for being, a reason to be here; an authentic and inspiring way of living and contributing -- seems very much like a mental illness or deep emotional distress, or a severe physical illness. For the time being, it has to be this way. Why? Because what we are talking about here is no less than the evolution of mankind though your own evolution; and that is fraught with conflicting information: A mind breaking free from imposed societal, family, & peer beliefs, priorities, and structures; is at a loss to make sense of things or to 'function' normally and go about a normal day-to-day life. Evolving also requires getting to a deep understanding about the psyche of man -- and that can only be understood in the depths of despair when all outer facades, attachments, and fears become secondary to your pain -- and you either medicate it (read staying stuck), die, or take back full and unapologetic control of your life and choices.

Needless to say that I do not believe in "mental illness" -- none of them. Yes - I have been told that my thoughts are dangerous (to myself) and now I am daring to share them!!! (dangerous to others)!!!  Let me tell you this -- these dangerous thoughts saved my life and my 'sanity' if you will and leaves the mainstream medical/therapy  community in the dust. I am grateful for the role they played in my first steps to managing my distress -- however managing my distress was nowhere near close to my goal of being well, successful, and happy. The medical community seems to consider it a success if you don't return to them. With a goal so low why would I return to them when on-going suffering was happening? I instead kept searching in earnest and finding what I needed elsewhere.

How much do you want me to go into this? First; the field of psychology always dismissed emotions in the study of the brain and human behavior until the last decade or maybe two. When the Truth appears to me to be this: We are emotional beings at our core - everything we do or don't do is based in emotion. Consider that if you are a highly logical person - your drive to be logical is based on emotion. Something at sometime caused you to feel good or validated or safe by choosing logic over emotions, and ironically you became emotionally attached to being logical. This is not a bad thing, but it tells us about our humanity - so does the exponential growth in mental illness diagnoses. These are not a mass of individual breakdowns, they are a multi-generational falling apart caused by the chasm between what supports a happy humanity and the priorities we so relentlessly drive to achieve in the name of survival and economic success - they are incompatible. We can have it all - but we have to change the way we live and work and educate and govern. This is no small feat and nothing less than an quantum leap in understanding, forced on us by nature herself, will get the job done.

Anxiety, depression, disease are nature's wake up call to heal, to grow, to evolve, to reach your potential.

Keeping it short. Ending here - I am ALWAYS available to help support anyone moving through anxiety, depression, failure, life decisions, and any major emotional crisis -- it does not scare me because I have faith in you making it through. xo